Here's Everything That Happens On Season 7 Of 'Game Of Thrones'

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Game of Thrones fans, stop what you’re doing. If you don’t like spoilers, walk away now. If you have any desire to be productive for the rest of the day, walk away now. If you don’t want to cry/scream/dance around in public, WALK AWAY NOW, because thanks to (now deleted) Reddit user awayfortheleads, the Internet is now privy to the entire plot of season seven.

None of this has been confirmed by official sources, and we have no way of knowing if any of this will actually happen until it premieres in summer 2017, but if any of these spoilers are real, then we’re in for a hell of a season. Here’s what will happen to all our favorite characters.

1. Jon Snow

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  • We are finally getting some Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen action, and a lot of it. They’ll meet at the end of Episode 3, where, after some persuasion from Tyrion Lannister, he’ll pledge his loyalty to Dany in exchange for her help in fighting the White Walkers. Obviously when you have two people THAT attractive, you can’t not have them hook up. And hook up they will. At the end of Episode 7. While the Wall is coming down. Oops.
  • He won’t find out who his true parents are, but Bran already knows (he's the one who had the vision, after all) and Sam will find out.
  • His real name is Aegon, and he doesn’t want people knowing that Melisandre resurrected him, so he stops Davos from telling Dany.
  • Jon needs to prove that the White Walkers are real, so he goes beyond the Wall with the Hound, Beric, Thoros, and Tormund, but Beric dies and so does Viserion (Dany’s dragon). They bring the White Walker to Cersei in King’s Landing. Apparently, they have a temporary truce going on. We shall see.
  • We’ll get a flashback of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark’s wedding (Jon’s parents, in case you forgot).

2. Daenerys Targaryen

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  • See above for Jon Snow hookup deets.
  • She will get to Dragonstone in Episode 1, before arriving in King’s Landing.
  • She will be reunited with Jorah Mormont (whose greyscale is cured by Sam at Oldtown, yay!) by the end of Episode 5.
  • She burns those who don’t bend at the knee for her, including the Tarly’s (i.e: Sam’s house. Oops again.) Tyrion and Varys worry that she’s following in her father’s footsteps and turning into the Mad Queen.
  • Her dragon, Viserion, dies beyond the Wall (see above) at the hand of the Night’s King, and will be reborn as his mount. Which is not good, to say the least.
  • She will be unsuccessful in conquering King’s Landing.

3. Sansa, Arya, and Bran Stark

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  • Arya kills the rest of the Frey’s (#tbt Frey pie). She is reunited with Nymeria as she approaches Winterfell, and she’ll arrive in Episode 4.
  • Littlefinger is going to try to pin Sansa and Arya against each other. Bran crosses the Wall during Episode 1 and arrives at Winterfell at the end of Episode 3. With his help, Arya and Sansa will realize Littlefinger’s intentions (SO pumped for a Stark sibling reunion) and Arya will kill Littlefinger. Both Stark sisters live. No word on Bran, which is concerning.

4. Cersei Lannister

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  • She’s pregnant. WOMP.
  • Upon seeing the White Walker that Jon Snow brings her, she freaks TF out and agrees to temporarily join forces in order to defeat them.
  • In typical Cersei fashion, she abandons them last minute and doesn’t send any help at all in order for the White Walkers to thin out their forces.

5. Jamie Lannister

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  • Cersei’s abandoning of Jon and his armies seriously rubs him the wrong way, so he leaves her and rides north to help. Four for you, Jamie.
  • Within the first few episodes, The Lannisters take out the Martell's and the Tyrell's easily with Jamie at the helm.

6. The Greyjoy’s

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  • Euron’s fleet destroys Yara, kills two of the Sand Snakes and captures Ellaria.
  • Theon f*cks up (again) and abandons Yara, which causes the Ironborn to finally lose all respect for him. Duh.
  • Theon has a brief encounter with Jon, who tells him he won’t kill him only because he saved Sansa.

7. Everyone else

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  • Dorne will be out of the way in the first few episodes.
  • Gendry is at King’s Landing making weapons.
  • OlennaTyrell finally acknowledges she killed Joffrey Baratheon.
  • Varys doesn’t want the throne, he’s legitimately just looking out for Westeros, which is hella cool.
  • Benjen Stark will make an appearance.
  • The “Northern girl” is Alys Karstark.
  • Melisandre only makes a few appearances.
  • Tyrion and Jon have a few scenes together.
  • Meera goes home after delivering Bran to Winterfell.
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Are you okay? Are you still alive? Kinda? No? Okay same. BRB, shivering in fetal position in the corner, bye!

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