If you ever find yourself in the Love and Sex section of your favorite bookstore, chances are you will come across titles like The Good Girl's Guide To Great Sex, She Comes First, and Cosmo's Kinky Sex Games.
There's a new book out now that's taking the internet and bookstores by storm, and it was just released this month. It's all about how to have hot, steamy sex and keep your sex life going long after you've married your partner.
The book, titled The Muslimah Sex Manual: A Halal Guide to Mind Blowing Sex, is geared towards Muslim women who are struggling with feeling physical intimacy with their partner. The author of the book, who is anonymous but published the book under the monicker Umm Muladhat, points out that just knowing about the body and how sex works are not enough to have mind-blowing orgasms.
In fact, knowing how good ol' P-in-V works is not enough to feel close and bond through sex with your partner. It takes more than that, and Muladhat is here to show women how to get the most out of the sex they are having.
This is the first of its kind, as no other Muslim woman has written a sex book explaining techniques and such to women following the religion. Muladhat definitely talks openly about sex in the book but also is sure to be respectful of Muslim women's beliefs and feelings. The US-born author told The Guardian,
“I put an emphasis on having sex only with your spouse, but having the full range of sexual experiences with that spouse. Islamically, there’s an emphasis on enjoying physical relationships within the context of marriage, not just for procreation. It is the wife’s right that her husband satisfy her sexually.”
The feedback she has gotten after publishing her book has been mixed.
She told The Guardian she has gotten both encouraging feedback as well as "demeaning and disgusting messages." The reactions from women themselves have also been mixed, with some praising her work and her movement towards talking more openly about how women can enjoy fulfilling love lives and sexual experiences. Others tell her that they do not need that book and learn all they need from their mothers.
Shaista Gohir, chair of the Muslim Women’s Network UK, told The Guardian,
“I’m all for women talking about sex. Why shouldn’t they? Talking about sex in Islam is not new, and past scholars highlighted the importance of sexual pleasure for women, which included advice for men to ensure this happens. However, in practice, sex seems to all be about men’s pleasure."
Gohir's interview took a dark turn when she told The Guardian about some of the cases she hears about when women call the Muslim Women's Helpline. She discussed the way women are often treated during sex, which can be "like a piece of meat." She told The Guardian,
"...Women’s complaints range from being forced into participating in unwanted sexual acts, rape, to being treated like a piece of meat with zero effort made to ensure the woman has an orgasm. I suspect the problem is much bigger, as most would feel too embarrassed to talk about it.”
Gohir points out that there is guilt instilled in women from a young age about enjoying sex, which shapes their perceptions of what the act actually is. It's something that is seen as "dirty," and not meant for women to enjoy. Gohir said, "This does result in women going into marriages not having the confidence to say ‘I am not enjoying this’ or ‘I want this’."
The book discusses many different aspects of sex, from kissing and foreplay techniques to different sexual positions that can please both a woman and her male partner. The book is a step in the right direction towards getting rid of the taboo of women's sexuality in Islam and empowering women to actually enjoy sex. There is nothing dirty about a woman enjoying sex and bonding with her partner in a physical way.
The book has gone so viral that even men have emailed her asking if she plans to release a book about how men can please their female partners, This is incredible, because I mean let's face it, everyone deserves to have a happy and healthy sex life.
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