Being a single mother is not an easy thing to do. You likely didn't plan for things to work out this way, but you're strong enough to hold it all together. It's still possible to produce a loving family environment for your child with both parents present as long as everyone involved is willing to compromise. What's most important than any issue the two of you may have is that your child has the love of both parents. Here are seven tips that will help create a solid foundation for your co-parenting relationship.
Remove sex from the equation.
This is a conflict of interest if the two of you don't plan on being in a relationship. Your relationship is about the child, not your sexual needs. Anything that could complicate that should be avoided.
Help facilitate his desire to be a father.
Whenever possible, never deny him time with his child. Communicate with him so that he knows about important upcoming events. Designate a few times to call every day if your child is old enough to talk on the phone. Those little efforts make a huge difference and allow him to always feel involved in all phases of his child's life.
Co-parent as one unit.
You don't have to let him know everything that's going on in your personal life, but include him in anything that involves his child. Get together and come up with a plan and guidelines for raising your child. Even though the two of you live in separate homes, how the child is being raised should remain consistent.
You don't have to give him preferential treatment. Just don't escalate any unnecessary friction between you. Even if he isn't fully taking care of his responsibilities, he still deserves to be treated like a human being.
Arguments will only complicate things. It can be difficult not to get emotional about things your child's father does when this affects your child. It's okay to have a conversation to let him know how you feel about any situation, but you have to control your emotions.
Respect his partner.
Eventually, both of you will move on with your romantic lives. You have to respect his partner the same way he has to respect your lover. If he gets married, that person is going to be in your child's life so it's imperative that you all can communicate.
Focus on friendship.
The two of you have to be a team because you will be connected for the rest of your lives. Get over anything that happened in prior to your child being born and focus on building a tight-knit platonic relationship.