Are You Friends With Your Ex? Psychologists Say It's A Bad Idea

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There's no denying that relationships are complicated, but why is it hard to move on when they're over?

Some people argue that you can maintain a healthy friendship with your ex-partner, and others think it's impossible.

Several studies, however, can confirm that staying friends with an ex is not a good idea.

Why do we stay in touch?


In two studies, psychologist Lindsay Rodriguez and her colleagues concluded that 40 percent of people are in touch with their ex. The majority maintains communication from the end of the relationship until several months later, with a frequency of once every few months. In contrast, 13 percent of people maintain contact several times a week.

The likelihood of keeping in touch with an ex-partner depends on a current relationship. The more serious a new relationship, marriage or commitment, the less likely it is that the person will communicate with former partners.

On the other hand, people are most likely to keep in touch with their ex if they ended things on a positive note or still have feelings for them.

Effects of staying friends with an ex while in a new relationship

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In general, psychology explains that people who continue to be in touch with their former partners tend to be less committed to the current relationship. However, staying in touch with an ex doesn't necessarily mean the person is unhappy in their current relationship.

In another study, a group of psychologists focused on analyzing the reasons why a person is in contact with an ex-partner. In this case, they reported that when contact is more frequent it could be due to an unsatisfactory current relationship.

It's also important to keep in mind the type of relationship that is maintained with the former partner, if it is a strong and profitable one, then communication is more likely.

Other people tend to stay in touch with their ex as a backup option in case they're new relationship fails.

Should we K.I.T. with an ex?


It would seem that, ultimately, it is up to each individual. The important thing is that if we are in communication with an ex-partner we consider the new person in our current relationship.

As far as the present relationship is concerned, psychology explains that this behavior could undoubtedly affect it. In any case, it is important to keep in mind which situation is most positive for your current relationship.

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