So you and the “love of your life,” just broke up and you think it’s the end of the world. You start blaming yourself, and thinking of all of the things you could have done differently or better. The panic of losing them sets in, and you start thinking about them being with other people.
Breakups can be difficult, but there are definitely things you don’t want to find yourself doing afterwards. Sometimes two people, as sad as it is, need to have space away from each other. In some instances, it leads to them getting back together, and in others, the space allows for them to realize they’re actually not meant to be together.
Here are five tips for handling the drama after a relationship ends.
1. Don't unfollow them on social media.
Don’t erase them right away. Deleting them doesn’t allow them to see all the goods, which means they can’t see that you’re doing just fine, either. Don’t turn to social media to purposely try and make an ex jealous, but if you went to a party and genuinely look happy, why not let them see? Maybe you got that job offer you really wanted, and you snap a photo in your new office. Let ‘em see. Also, unfriending someone right away looks a bit childish and petty—let it go for a little (you can always delete later, after things have subsided), but in the meantime, don’t make it look like you care that much about them knowing what you’re up to. It shows you still care or are trying to pick a fight/get a reaction from them.
2. Don’t call/text/email/FB message them nonstop.
The one thing you two need right now is space. It could either lead to each of you missing each other and getting back together, OR it might lead to you taking the time and space to heal and accept that this might not be right for either of you. You panic after the breakup sinks in, but don’t blow up their phone. It’s never a good thing. It can be annoying and might end up making you two fight more. If there's any chance of you two getting back together, constantly contacting them is a surefire way of ruining it.
3. Don’t jump into another relationship.
NO. No no no no no no, and no. If you’re dealing with a breakup, it is CRUCIAL to take the time you need to reflect on it, accept it, and actually let it go. It’s important to grieve the end of our relationship, and give ourselves proper time to heal before getting someone else involved. Not only is it awful for your own recovery process, but it’s awful to bring someone else in and potentially hurt them. Yeah, you might want a distraction, but don’t go playing with people’s hearts. No one likes being rebound.
4. Don’t pretend that everything is okay.
It’s never a good idea. Brushing your feelings under the rug and ignoring the emotions you have after breaking up doesn’t allow you to heal, which you need to do before moving into another relationship. It’s the healthy thing to do, though it can be difficult. Cry for hours if you need to, eat a pint of ice cream, go for a run, burn all the photos of you and your ex. Whatever you need to do, allow yourself to feel. You’ll thank yourself later.
5. Don’t try to be “just friends.”
The golden rule of dealing with post-breakup drama. Never try and be “just friends.” Though that might be what you think is best in the beginning because you don’t want to lose this person, it can be extremely difficult and messy. You two might end up sleeping with each other, having expectations, thinking you’ll get back together, breaking each other’s heart even more, and end up hating each other. It’s just too much. Right now, you both need space.
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