Relationships are work, no doubt. Two people have to build the foundation for a relationship through strong communication skills, time getting to know each other, and learning about what each person wants and needs.
However, once that foundation is laid, it still takes a lot of effort to keep things going, and to keep a relationship healthy. Sometimes, our own destructive habits tend to get in the way, and we need to be on the lookout for these unhealthy signs. Here are seven destructive habits that can harm any relationship, even a really great one.
1. Failing to take action.
Part of being in a relationship is taking care of yourself, and that means doing the things that you have set out to do. If you have it in your mind that you want to have a job in another city that would mean the world to you, go out and do it. One of the biggest pitfalls in a relationship is when one or both people lose their sense of self and identity. Don’t doubt yourself. The same goes for things you say you’ll do in the relationship—keep your word, it will make your partner feel like they can trust and lean on you.
2. Not taking responsibility for your actions.
If you did something to upset your partner, either knowingly or unknowingly, make sure you fess up and talk about it. Did you cheat on them? Talk to them about it. Are you not feeling the same way you did about them when you first started dating and want to leave the relationship? Talk about it. If you get into an argument and say something really cruel out of anger, it happens, but make sure to be aware of it so it doesn’t happen in the future, and acknowledge you did say the statement. Also, apologize. Don’t be an a**hole.
3. Never apologizing when you’re wrong.
Going back to number two, you want to make sure when you do something that was out of line, you apologize. Whether you said something that hurt your partner’s feelings, or did something that you know upset them, have the heart to say you’re sorry. Trying to blame other people for something you did doesn’t make anything better and is an unhealthy habit that can turn a relationship toxic. It’s also a sign of manipulation.
4. Refusing to reach out for help.
Are you in financial trouble? Are your grades slipping in school? Are you having a hard time caring about the child you and your partner have and feel like you need more help from him or her? Make sure to reach out for help and talk to your partner about anything that might be distressing you. If your relationship is healthy, you should feel confident in trusting them with this information. If you don’t go to them for help, the stress and sadness can get to you, and might harm the relationship.
Sometimes we take out personal feelings and issues on our partner because we don’t address them, and we don’t mean to do that. Having this happen too many times can definitely put a damper on even the healthiest of relationships.
5. Drug and alcohol abuse.
Sometimes when individuals go through a hard time or feel stressed/depressed, they turn to drugs and alcohol as a way to cope. This is destructive enough for the individual, but the relationship will also become affected when the abuse becomes out of hand. Arguments, neglect, bad decisions, and other negative consequences can seriously take a toll on a relationship. It is also very hard to watch someone you love spiral out of control.
6. Running from your emotions.
Every relationship has its ups and downs, and couples need to be able to talk about how they feel openly. When you feel afraid or doubt the relationship, talk to your partner about it. When things in the relationship, such as the level of commitment, are not discussed, it leaves room for assumptions, which are never good. Running from your emotions can hurt communication in a relationship, as well as trust.
7. Purposely sabotaging relationships.
Acting out for attention, being possessive and jealous, and starting arguments for no reason is going to hurt your relationship. Try to handle things like an adult, even when you can feel your emotions getting the best of you. Always try and think logically, and instead of blowing up, sleep on something or give yourself time to think about the situation. Be rational, and be compassionate to one another.
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