Remember when Snow Storm Stella hit many parts of the Northeast earlier this year, with some areas in New York getting up to 36 inches of snow. That's three whole feet of white mush. It was aggressive, and for the rest of the country, Stella—or any winter storm, really— came as a shocker.
For Northerners, it's just another snow storm. They're used to it. They've got the routine down packed, and it looks something like this.
1. You get the call.
"Today has been cancelled." #bless.
2. You run (RUN) to the store, before the storm hits and all the Pinot is gone.
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Priorities: wine, snacks, food, water. In that order.
3. You almost forget the salt. Unacceptable. You're supposed to be used to this by now.
Salt = necessary to melt the ice that will inevitably knock you on your a*s as soon as you walk outside to shovel. That is, if you ever want to step outside again.
4. The next morning you wake up unusually early because you HAVE to see if it was as bad as they said.
Spoiler: it's not, typically.
5. UNTIL.... dun dun duuuuun.
You go outside and realize your neighborhood is a sheet of ice. GUESS THAT MEANS I GET TO DO NOTHING TODAY. BUMMER.
6. You spend the morning cozied up, enjoying the benefits of your snow day...
Until it hits about 3-o-clockish and you're bored AF.
7. You want to run to the store because you forgot Hot Cheetos, or because you downed the last of your wine (no shame), or maybe, I dunno, your fam is driving you crazy!
And that's when you remember....
8. You have to clean off your car and shovel it out (: (:
"Not today, Satan." -snow, to you, basically.
9. But... Hot Cheetos. So you put on five layers of clothing and head out into the abyss.
And start the misery that is cleaning snow.
10. "I wish I was at work," you say, and you can't believe yourself.
"I'd be warm, free of the risk of hypothermia, drinking bad office coffee but at least it's something hot."
11. You realize it's not safe to drive through the streets yet, so you'll have to suck up your Hot Cheetos craving.
That's a luxury for a regular day.
12. By the time you go to bed, your entire body is sore.
Its like you did Crossfit for the first time, except, in the snow.
13. The next morning, when you wake up to resume your normal life, it feels like you went through hell and back.
And all you have to show for it are the two seasons of Game of Thrones you were able to get through.
14. Snow seems pleasant, at first. Promising, even.
15. But as the day goes on, you realize, it'd be best if it just, wasn't, a thing.
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