What's the difference between tantric sex and regular sex?

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Lara Wernet/Flickr

You’ve probably heard about tantric sex already. But let’s be honest, this usually comes wrapped in a mysterious cloud that gives some people chills rather than a good understanding of it. It often feels like the conversation shifts to a sacred/forbidden place no one really want to step. Why staying on the surface of something that seems so interesting and productive?

Just because it has the word sex it doesn’t mean it’s dirty, and the word tantric doesn’t mean magical or weird either. Let’s expose the main difference between this ancient form of sex and what most people practice. But before that, it is good to shine some light on a few key aspects of it.

See also: Guys, the productivity of your sex life depends on making her laugh

The word tantra has various origins rooted in several Indian traditional languages, but most sources agree it generally means expansion, expansion tool, or liberation. Tantric sex has been part of the Ayurveda tradition of India, just like meditation or yoga, for about 1,500 years. We can see its relevance in Indian culture through the many sexual sculptures in temples. They see sex as another expression of spirituality.

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Raffaele Nicolussi/Flickr

While regular sex usually goes through three stages: foreplay, intercourse, and climax/ending, tantric sex has no lineal progression. It is not orgasm oriented! In fact, tantric sex practitioners try not to see orgasm as the main source of pleasure.

How do they do it?

In tantric sex, the couple tries to connect at a way deeper level than just the physical one, channeling what they call their sexual energy. They mentally try to expand this energy from the genitals to the rest of the body, so any spot can be a source of pleasure. They synchronize breathing and focus to fuse with the partners’ energy for a deeper connection. Maintaining eye contact is important in this process.

A tantric sex session may last several hours because there is not a culmination with depletion of the physical energies, or orgasm. Instead, the couple submerges in a state of creativity that can go on and on cyclically in any direction except a lineal finish line. They may have intercourse or barely touch each other, feeling the same intensity of pleasure. Tantric sex couples report they experience waves of orgasms.

Tantric sex seeks for the strongest, most pure human connection through energy. It sounds to me like tantric sex is to regular sex what yoga is to the average gym workout. It involves the mind, the spirit, and energy as much as the body.

Isn't sex intended to be a vehicle of what we call making love? And isn't love the maximum expression of the spirit? Tantric sex approaches intimacy from these very valid principles.