If you don’t go on the internet (in which case, who are you and what do you do all the time?), today is Amazon Prime Day, AKA, Christmas in July. If you’re an Amazon Prime member, you get access to thousands of exclusive deals on Amazon all day today until 3 a.m. tomorrow, Wednesday, July 12. Think Black Friday (sans Thanksgiving hangover), but online, only on Amazon, exclusively for Prime Members, and with free shipping.
Prime Day is the definition of a marathon, not a sprint. There are tons of things to look at, and it’s so easy to get your hands on them, that it’s important to pace yourself and not get too crazy (or do, WTH). If you’re a Prime Day newbie, welcome to the club. Here’s what you can expect from your first Prime Day experience. Pro tip: wear a seatbelt.
1. Twas’ the night before Prime Day, and all through the night, everyone was sleeping except for you because you were too busy watching your deals.
2. Your deals go live and you immediately put them into your List to compare prices and start buying those bad boys.
3. But there are new deals every five minutes so NO ONE IS SAFE.
4. You’ve had your eye on a swanky new camera for months but you’re stuck in a meeting when it goes live and before you know it, it's gone.
5. But you bounce back because there are so many more options to chose from!
6. You skip lunch, because Prime Day.
7. Your friends start to worry about you, because Prime Day.
8. You are drunk with power.
9. You don’t sleep tonight, either, because NEW DEALS, FIVE MINUTES.
10. You check out, and Prime Day officially comes to an end. You’re a little relieved but also kinda depressed that it’s over.
11. Then you remember it's time to check your bank balance and you're immediately terrified.
12. And you’re pleased to find that it’s not even that bad because the deals were THAT good.
You, with all your leftover money.
13. Your stuff arrives, mere hours later, because it is Amazon Prime after all, and you’ve officially come full circle. It’s an awakening, really. Nothing has ever been this easy.
Aaaaand then you wait for next year. Happy Prime Day!!!
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