It’s Christmas in July! AKA, the season seven premiere of Game of Thrones. It’s hard to believe that after an entire year of waiting, speculating, and discussing, we finally get to pick up where we left off in 2016. Winter is here, ya’ll, and in case you haven’t been overanalyzing season six this entire time (or is that just me?) here is what you need to know about the last time we saw our friends in Westeros.
1. Cersei returns after being tortured by the Faith of the Seven.
If you recall, she was in jail and tortured by Septa Unella and then put to literal “shame, shame, shame” when she had to walk through King’s Landing naked. At this point, both Myrcella and Joffrey are dead and she's trying to teach Tommen how to actually be a king. It's not going very well.
2. Then, she blew up the Great Sept of Baelor on what was supposed to be her trial day.
And killed Margaery Tyrell in the process.
3. Then Tommen jumped out the window.
Now Cersei is Queen of the Seven Kingdoms and it's terrifying.
4. Sansa was married to the awful, terrible Ramsay Bolton and managed to escape thanks to some help from Theon Greyjoy.
They jumped off the walls of the Winterfell castle. Once she's reunited with Jon and they win the Battle of the Bastards, she has her revenge and kills Ramsay with the help of his super hungry dogs. Savage AF.
5. Arya was blind.
She killed Meryn Trant without permission and ended up blind thanks to being poisoned by one of the masks of the Faceless Men.
6. Daenery’s faced a pretty intense revolt from the slave masters of Meereen in Season 5.
They were pissed because she took over Slaver’s Bay and wanted to take it back. The Sons of the Harpy ambushed the games at The Great Pit Of Daznak and Dany managed to escape on Drogon’s back. Epic. Until….
6. Dany ended up kidnapped by the Dothraki.
Meanwhile, Tyrion Lannister, Missandei, Grey Worm, and Verys were trying to keep the city intact until she came back.
8. Jon Snow was brought back to life by the priestess Melisandre after being stabbed multiple times by his own men.
He leaves Castle Black, reunites with Sansa, rallies all the men (Wildlings included) he can find to fight the Boltons, and fights the infamous Battle of the Bastards. Rickon dies (RIP Rickon), and Sansa comes in super clutch with the Knights of the Vale, basically helping win the battle thanks to her alliance with Littlefinger.
9. Sam, Gilly, and Little Sam are at the Citadel.
Jon sent him to Oldtown to become a maester.
10. Euron Greyjoy returns.
He thinks he should be the one to lead the ironborn against the other kingdoms and conquer territory. Yara and Theon, on the other hand, disagree and think they’re the ones that should be in charge.
11. Bran Stark has been training under the Three-eyed raven.
He has a vision that all but confirmed the fan theory that Jon Snow is actually the son of Ned Stark’s sister Lyanna and Rhaegar Targaryen. He also saw Hodor’s past and realized he used to be a stable boy named Wylis. We found out why he only ever says the word “Hodor,” and that’s all we’ll say about that. #StillTooSoon.
12. Hodor saves the day, and dies.
He held back the exit of the cave that was being ransacked by the White Walkers, allowing Meera and Bran enough time to escape.
HBO. GoT Season 7. 9 PM ET. Be there or be a White Walker.
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